the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
