it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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