Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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