I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
