so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
