oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
