Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
