You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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