Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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