You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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