I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Actions speak louder than pants.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
