Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
