meet me or not, i'm out of control
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
