...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
