OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
