We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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