yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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