you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
