I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
