i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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