dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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