I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
