If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
