Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
