You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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