you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You can't just leave with hair like that
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
