I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
