Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
