I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
