8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
