i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
