If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
In America we eat man semen.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize