He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
