I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
