i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
