i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
