i think my mom watched the whole time
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
