i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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