I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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