but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
