If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
