you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
