So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
