I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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