What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
