i think my tv is drunk
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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