Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
