I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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