My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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