Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We left the knife in your bed.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
