she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
